Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition

Chapter 8

TO WIVES*

WITH FEW EXCEPTIONS, our book thus far has
spoken of men. But what we have said applies
quite as much to women. Our activities in behalf of
women who drink are on the increase. There is every
evidence that women regain their health as readily as
men if they try our suggestions.

But for every man who drinks others are involved—
the wife who trembles in fear of the next debauch; the
mother and father who see their son wasting away.

Among us are wives, relatives and friends whose
problem has been solved, as well as some who have
not yet found a happy solution. We want the wives of
Alcoholics Anonymous to address the wives of men
who drink too much. What they say will apply to
nearly everyone bound by ties of blood or affection to
an alcoholic.

As wives of Alcoholics Anonymous, we would like
you to feel that we understand as perhaps few can.
We want to analyze mistakes we have made. We want
to leave you with the feeling that no situation is too
difficult and no unhappiness too great to be overcome.

We have traveled a rocky road, there is no mistake
about that. We have had long rendezvous with hurt
pride, frustration, self-pity, misunderstanding and fear.
These are not pleasant companions. We have been

* Written in 1939, when there were few women in A.A., this chapter
assumes that the alcoholic in the home is likely to be the husband. But
many of the suggestions given here may be adapted to help the person
who lives with a woman alcoholic—whether she is still drinking or is re­-
covering in A.A. A further source of help is noted on page 121.