Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

STEP FOUR

jobs, family, and friends will need to cross-examine them-
selves ruthlessly to determine how their own personality
defects have thus demolished their security.

The most common symptoms of emotional insecurity
are worry, anger, self-pity, and depression. These stem
from causes which sometimes seem to be within us, and
at other times to come from without. To take inventory
in this respect we ought to consider carefully all personal
relationships which bring continuous or recurring trouble.
It should be remembered that this kind of insecurity may
arise in any area where instincts are threatened. Question-
ing directed to this end might run like this: Looking at
both past and present, what sex situations have caused me
anxiety, bitterness, frustration, or depression? Appraising
each situation fairly, can I see where I have been at fault?
Did these perplexities beset me because of selfishness or
unreasonable demands? Or, if my disturbance was seem-
ingly caused by the behavior of others, why do I lack the
ability to accept conditions I cannot change? These are the
sort of fundamental inquiries that can disclose the source
of my discomfort and indicate whether I may be able to
alter my own conduct and so adjust myself serenely to self-
discipline.

Suppose that financial insecurity constantly arouses
these same feelings. I can ask myself to what extent have
my own mistakes fed my gnawing anxieties. And if the ac-
tions of others are part of the cause, what can I do about
that? If I am unable to change the present state of affairs,
am I willing to take the measures necessary to shape my
life to conditions as they are? Questions like these, more of