Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

STEP FIVE

get the feeling that we could be forgiven, no matter what
we had thought or done. Often it was while working on
this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisers that we
first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deep-
ly we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had
persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but
it was only when we resolutely tackled Step Five that we
inwardly knew we'd be able to receive forgiveness and give
it, too.

Another great dividend we may expect from confiding
our defects to another human being is humility—a word
often misunderstood. To those who have made progress in
A.A., it amounts to a clear recognition of what and who we
really are, followed by a sincere attempt to become what we
could be. Therefore, our first practical move toward humil-
ity must consist of recognizing our deficiencies. No defect
can be corrected unless we clearly see what it is. But we shall
have to do more than see. The objective look at ourselves we
achieved in Step Four was, after all, only a look. All of us
saw, for example, that we lacked honesty and tolerance, that
we were beset at times by attacks of self-pity or delusions of
personal grandeur. But while this was a humiliating experi-
ence, it didn't necessarily mean that we had yet acquired
much actual humility. Though now recognized, our defects
were still there. Something had to be done about them. And
we soon found that we could not wish or will them away
by ourselves.

More realism and therefore more honesty about our-
selves are the great gains we make under the influence of
Step Five. As we took inventory, we began to suspect how