Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

STEP EIGHT

tional conflicts persist below the level of consciousness. At
the time of these occurrences, they may actually have given
our emotions violent twists which have since discolored
our personalities and altered our lives for the worse.

While the purpose of making restitution to others is
paramount, it is equally necessary that we extricate from
an examination of our personal relations every bit of in-
formation about ourselves and our fundamental difficul-
ties that we can. Since defective relations with other human
beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our
woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation
could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this
one. Calm, thoughtful reflection upon personal relations
can deepen our insight. We can go far beyond those things
which were superficially wrong with us, to see those flaws
which were basic, flaws which sometimes were responsible
for the whole pattern of our lives. Thoroughness, we have
found, will pay—and pay handsomely.

We might next ask ourselves what we mean when we
say that we have "harmed" other people. What kinds of
"harm" do people do one another, anyway? To define the
word "harm" in a practical way, we might call it the re-
sult of instincts in collision, which cause physical, mental,
emotional, or spiritual damage to people. If our tempers
are consistently bad, we arouse anger in others. If we lie or
cheat, we deprive others not only of their worldly goods,
but of their emotional security and peace of mind. We re-
ally issue them an invitation to become contemptuous and
vengeful. If our sex conduct is selfish, we may excite jeal-
ousy, misery, and a strong desire to retaliate in kind.