Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

STEP NINE

meeting, or perhaps after we have finished reading the book
"Alcoholics Anonymous," we usually want to sit down with
some member of the family and readily admit the damage
we have done by our drinking. Almost always we want to
go further and admit other defects that have made us hard
to live with. This will be a very different occasion, and in
sharp contrast with those hangover mornings when we al-
ternated between reviling ourselves and blaming the family
(and everyone else) for our troubles. At this first sitting, it
is necessary only that we make a general admission of our
defects. It may be unwise at this stage to rehash certain har-
rowing episodes. Good judgment will suggest that we ought
to take our time. While we may be quite willing to reveal
the very worst, we must be sure to remember that we cannot
buy our own peace of mind at the expense of others.

Much the same approach will apply at the office or fac-
tory. We shall at once think of a few people who know all
about our drinking, and who have been most affected by it.
But even in these cases, we may need to use a little more dis-
cretion than we did with the family. We may not want to say
anything for several weeks, or longer. First we will wish to
be reasonably certain that we are on the A.A. beam. Then
we are ready to go to these people, to tell them what A.A.
is, and what we are trying to do. Against this background
we can freely admit the damage we have done and make our
apologies. We can pay, or promise to pay, whatever obliga-
tions, financial or otherwise, we owe. The generous response
of most people to such quiet sincerity will often astonish us.
Even our severest and most justified critics will frequently
meet us more than halfway on the first trial.