Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

STEP NINE

This atmosphere of approval and praise is apt to be so
exhilarating as to put us off balance by creating an insa-
tiable appetite for more of the same. Or we may be tipped
over in the other direction when, in rare cases, we get a
cool and skeptical reception. This will tempt us to argue,
or to press our point insistently. Or maybe it will tempt us
to discouragement and pessimism. But if we have prepared
ourselves well in advance, such reactions will not deflect us
from our steady and even purpose.

After taking this preliminary trial at making amends, we
may enjoy such a sense of relief that we conclude our task
is finished. We will want to rest on our laurels. The temp-
tation to skip the more humiliating and dreaded meetings
that still remain may be great. We will often manufacture
plausible excuses for dodging these issues entirely. Or we
may just procrastinate, telling ourselves the time is not
yet, when in reality we have already passed up many a fine
chance to right a serious wrong. Let's not talk prudence
while practicing evasion.

As soon as we begin to feel confident in our new way
of life and have begun, by our behavior and example, to
convince those about us that we are indeed changing for
the better, it is usually safe to talk in complete frankness
with those who have been seriously affected, even those
who may be only a little or not at all aware of what we have
done to them. The only exceptions we will make will be
cases where our disclosure would cause actual harm. These
conversations can begin in a casual or natural way. But if
no such opportunity presents itself, at some point we will
want to summon all our courage, head straight for the per-