Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

STEP TEN

ation of long-standing difficulties had better be postponed,
when possible, to times deliberately set aside for that pur-
pose. The quick inventory is aimed at our daily ups and
downs, especially those where people or new events throw
us off balance and tempt us to make mistakes.

In all these situations we need self-restraint, honest
analysis of what is involved, a willingness to admit when
the fault is ours, and an equal willingness to forgive when
the fault is elsewhere. We need not be discouraged when we
fall into the error of our old ways, for these disciplines are
not easy. We shall look for progress, not for perfection.

Our first objective will be the development of self-re-
straint. This carries a top priority rating. When we speak
or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and
tolerant evaporates on the spot. One unkind tirade or one
willful snap judgment can ruin our relation with another
person for a whole day, or maybe a whole year. Noth-
ing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must
avoid quick-tempered criticism and furious, power-driv-
en argument. The same goes for sulking or silent scorn.
These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and
vengefulness. Our first job is to sidestep the traps. When
we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to
step back and think. For we can neither think nor act to
good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become
automatic.

Disagreeable or unexpected problems are not the only
ones that call for self-control. We must be quite as care-
ful when we begin to achieve some measure of importance
and material success. For no people have ever loved per-