Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

STEP TEN

sonal triumphs more than we have loved them; we drank
of success as of a wine which could never fail to make us
feel elated. When temporary good fortune came our way,
we indulged ourselves in fantasies of still greater victories
over people and circumstances. Thus blinded by prideful
self-confidence, we were apt to play the big shot. Of course,
people turned away from us, bored or hurt.

Now that we're in A.A. and sober, and winning back
the esteem of our friends and business associates, we find
that we still need to exercise special vigilance. As an insur-
ance against "big-shot-ism" we can often check ourselves
by remembering that we are today sober only by the grace
of God and that any success we may be having is far more
His success than ours.

Finally, we begin to see that all people, including our-
selves, are to some extent emotionally ill as well as fre-
quently wrong, and then we approach true tolerance and
see what real love for our fellows actually means. It will
become more and more evident as we go forward that it is
pointless to become angry, or to get hurt by people who,
like us, are suffering from the pains of growing up.

Such a radical change in our outlook will take time,
maybe a lot of time. Not many people can truthfully as-
sert that they love everybody. Most of us must admit that
we have loved but a few; that we have been quite indiffer-
ent to the many so long as none of them gave us trouble;
and as for the remainder—well, we have really disliked or
hated them. Although these attitudes are common enough,
we A.A.'s find we need something much better in order to
keep our balance. We can't stand it if we hate deeply. The