Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
STEP TEN
we know that the pains of drinking had to come before
sobriety, and emotional turmoil before serenity.
As we glance down the debit side of the day's ledger, we
should carefully examine our motives in each thought or
act that appears to be wrong. In most cases our motives
won't be hard to see and understand. When prideful, angry,
jealous, anxious, or fearful, we acted accordingly, and that
was that. Here we need only recognize that we did act or
think badly, try to visualize how we might have done better,
and resolve with God's help to carry these lessons over into
tomorrow, making, of course, any amends still neglected.
But in other instances only the closest scrutiny will re-
veal what our true motives were. There are cases where
our ancient enemy, rationalization, has stepped in and has
justified conduct which was really wrong. The temptation
here is to imagine that we had good motives and reasons
when we really didn't.
We "constructively criticized" someone who needed it,
when our real motive was to win a useless argument. Or,
the person concerned not being present, we thought we
were helping others to understand him, when in actuality
our true motive was to feel superior by pulling him down.
We sometimes hurt those we love because they need to be
"taught a lesson," when we really want to punish. We were
depressed and complained we felt bad, when in fact we
were mainly asking for sympathy and attention. This odd
trait of mind and emotion, this perverse wish to hide a
bad motive underneath a good one, permeates human af-
fairs from top to bottom. This subtle and elusive kind of
self-righteousness can underlie the smallest act or thought.