Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

STEP TWELVE

lacies. It became clear that if we ever were to feel emo-
tionally secure among grown-up people, we would have to
put our lives on a give-and-take basis; we would have to
develop the sense of being in partnership or brotherhood
with all those around us. We saw that we would need to
give constantly of ourselves without demands for repay-
ment. When we persistently did this we gradually found
that people were attracted to us as never before. And even
if they failed us, we could be understanding and not too
seriously affected.

When we developed still more, we discovered the best
possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself.
We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgive-
ness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where
nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we
couldn’t very well play God to our fellows nor would we
feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care.
These were the new attitudes that finally brought many of
us an inner strength and peace that could not be deeply
shaken by the shortcomings of others or by any calamity
not of our own making.

This new outlook was, we learned, something especial-
ly necessary to us alcoholics. For alcoholism had been a
lonely business, even though we had been surrounded by
people who loved us. But when self-will had driven ev-
erybody away and our isolation had become complete, it
caused us to play the big shot in cheap barrooms and then
fare forth alone on the street to depend upon the charity
of passersby. We were still trying to find emotional security
by being dominating or dependent upon others. Even when