Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

STEP TWELVE

And what can be said of many A.A. members who, for
a variety of reasons, cannot have a family life? At first
many of these feel lonely, hurt, and left out as they wit-
ness so much domestic happiness about them. If they
cannot have this kind of happiness, can A.A. offer them
satisfactions of similar worth and durability? Yes—when-
ever they try hard to seek them out. Surrounded by so
many A.A. friends, these so-called loners tell us they no
longer feel alone. In partnership with others—women
and men—they can devote themselves to any number of
ideas, people, and constructive projects. Free of marital
responsibilities, they can participate in enterprises which
would be denied to family men and women. We daily see
such members render prodigies of service, and receive
great joys in return.

Where the possession of money and material things was
concerned, our outlook underwent the same revolutionary
change. With a few exceptions, all of us had been spend-
thrifts. We threw money about in every direction with the
purpose of pleasing ourselves and impressing other people.
In our drinking time, we acted as if the money supply was
inexhaustible, though between binges we'd sometimes go
to the other extreme and become almost miserly. Without
realizing it we were just accumulating funds for the next
spree. Money was the symbol of pleasure and self-impor-
tance. When our drinking had become much worse, money
was only an urgent requirement which could supply us
with the next drink and the temporary comfort of oblivion
it brought.

Upon entering A.A., these attitudes were sharply re-